Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He better not be in your backpack
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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