Whod you bang
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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