I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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