Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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