she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
this just has baby written all over it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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