how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
