I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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