you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
