So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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