I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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