using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
