I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
