I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
