they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
