there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
