Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
