the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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