So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
