Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
