Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
