i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
