i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i've created a new STD.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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