Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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