i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
