ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
