He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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