My liver just broke up with me...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well you can't waste a boner
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
