Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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