No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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