haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Fuck appropriateness.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
