i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
