I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
