Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
