Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
