Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
