were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
