so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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