apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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