Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
