Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
