Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm always down for nudity.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
