Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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