If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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