Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
