Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
