Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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