Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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