I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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