i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
