Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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